(paki-tugtog na lang sa isipan
bilang background music
and folk song na "Febuka",
lalo na ang linyang
"Rinibunton a dawel   {These cruelties thousand-fold...
Diakton agayaten"     I'll never love... anymore!}
)

Magbuhat sa malayong lupain...
kapapansin ko na kay hirap talaga
muling buhayin ang karanasan
ng Pagiging taga-UP Diliman
sa pamamagitan lamang
ng internet surfing.
 
There are a few (too few) sorority girl
pictures online (the best one in sepia,
which is the colour of the old Wizard of Oz movie).
 
How do I express it?
The emptiness I always felt being early
before the first session of classes.
Emptiness in CASAA while other students (always strangers)
kept doing their schoolwork. Emptiness in AS lobby
before 7:00 a.m. and the stairways are still locked.
 
What comes to mind
when I think back on UP Diliman?
All of the things I had not done.

Not going out with my crush
                              from Sorsogon.

But at least there was...
The glory of crawling drunk along University Avenue
and sleeping on the floor of a Palma Hall
classroom, after downing half a bowl
of punch with the Philosophical Society the night before.
 
The sweet anxiety of getting caught by friends
as I was about to hand a bouqet of flowers.
 
My katangahan in not talking to/seducing
Jennifer when I saw her again by the beer
booth during one of the UP Mountaineer
"I've seen Elvis" concerts.
 
Playing songs I wrote myself for the entertainment of barkada.
 
First trying the Chocolate Kiss cafe with Marlon, having fajitas.
Better yet, having Marlon mix up his NuevaEcijan(?) mompo.
 
The desperation of illegally selling (without vendor's permit)
juice, water and Gatorade one Sunday to bikers
and joggers for a small margin of profit.
 
Hiring a Dance Instructor for my P.E. ballroom dancing finals.
 
Buying gin for songwriting genius Gary Granada.
 
Chilling out with actor Crispin "Pen" Medina in Malate.
 
Drinking Tanqueray in Padi's Point with Ahmed
taking home I think the tenedor and definitely
the hot sauce ("Masarap sa kanin!").