The date is 2014, Im on the top floor of tallest building in asia. They call it the AT&T tower, I call it the dick of asia]

[with me i have 40 pounds worth of maintenance equipment, and a bottle of cheap brandy]

[i know its a bad idea to be drinking a hundred or so floors without any safety harness, but heck, im fenoy fre...]

[after a few shots, i grab my i-doeverything- iDO for short (the descendant of the ipod its a phone, a jukebox and a computer all in one small package) and I start recording through my headset]

ehem, ehem, mic test one two...here goes, ranting and raving like a drunk crazed idiot part one.....

Can you explain to me the meaning of love? Seriously. Does anyone have any-ANY- idea what this word really is? 

It may sound like a cliche, but people would do the craziest, unbelievable and utterly nonsensical things when "in love". Heck, people kill themselves over it. When do you know if its love or its another thing entirely? Dont tell me the classic (again so cliche) answer: "you'll just know". Damnit why all the unknown variables? This seems so much like one of those calculus problems I just cant understand.

Ask scientists to explain it and they'll tell you that love is just one of the myriad of chemical reactions that occur in your brain- like mixing baking soda with vinegar- albeit more violent. A psychologist will tell you it's all about your entire childhood. Your ID, ego or whatever that word was.Yet stare at their eyes and ask them to forget about their phd, forget their field of experties and ask the what (For them) love truly is, chances are, they cant tell you either. 

So why am I so god damned irritated?

[I take another sip of brandy. I feel it building the heat up from within chest. God that feels good.]

It may be because I always seek to know how things work. If I know how it works, I'll feel safer. But then this... THING.. just comes and you cant disect it. you cant tear it apart and see how it works. sure you could observe people around you- believe me I tried- and youll just end up pulling out all your hair- in my case bash my head against a wall- out of frustration.

I guess the key to all this is experience. Have I experienced true, honest to God, till death do us part, L-O-V-E? How the hell should I know? The thing I know is, you think its there, but then shit hits the fan, bada-bing bada-boom, its over. Hell you cant even be friends anymore, what kind of f-up bs is that. (-oh bitterness right here.) but Im digressing here, the main thing is I just dont get the how, why, what, of this thing. Even with all the experience I have a feeling that some people are just not equiped to handle this thing called love.