Make me Feel
Submitted by Adia Adeo on April 27, 2009 - 5:23pm.
All about Adia
I keep on having headaches recently. I feel like I'm jinxed or something. I didn't enjoy my weekend. I don't know if i could really enjoy doing anything with this heaviness in my head and my heart. Both are throbing rythmically along with my boredom. There was pain, but I feel like there's nothing left to feel but regret for all the things that I did and did not do.
I'm badly needing something that could make me feel alive. Sometimes, I regret even for not committing any mistakes that could've made me feel more human.
I feel like splurging on shopping once again and I know it's not healthy. It would be another mistake to spend too much just to compromise for all the things that I missed. I've been missing a lot. Everytime I laugh, I was reminded how much happier I could've been if I seized the moment to laugh my heart out. Everytime I cry, I realized how much tears I tend to hold back. It's like being there, but not being there at the same time. I'm always in the middle, trying to keep the balance, and I feel like maintaining the balance isn't exactly what I really want to do. I want to feel completely. I want to tell myself that it's either I'm there or I'm really not. I want to be definite and exact. I want the extremes because I can feel somehow that that's who I really am. It's time to accept who I really am. I don't want to deprive myself of my real self anymore just to look normal to other people. It's time to be real. It's time to feel.
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nice blog j. luna! made me
Submitted by Adia Adeo on April 27, 2009 - 10:54pm.
nice blog j. luna! made me smile!
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live life for the blessing it is...
Submitted by dvi1400 on April 28, 2009 - 2:47pm.
never regret your life if you've lived it the right way. mistakes may help you grow stronger, but abstaining from committing it will make you admirable and strong in the same light. you don't have to be in the spotlight to feel that you're there.
if you feel dry, maybe you should reflect on where you are right now. there's a term to what you're going through. others call it spiritual dryness. it is a phase that people go through once they've burnt out all the energy they have in them. to some who haven't done any activity other than that of a bum (my kind of lifestyle, but not for life), it's just plain boredom. you sound like you've grown tired of living, or perhaps just the monotony of your life.
kidding aside, if you feel that your life is uneventful, be prayerful. it means God is preparing you for something big. it can be a life changing event for you, or for someone else that you care about. whatever it is, it's going to affect you.
so, be careful if you find your life uneventful. you are alive, but maybe not in the sense that you expect it. living a life on the edge is a practice you may or may not be able to handle. either way, be careful what you wish for. count your blessings. talk to family, friends and people. that should give you perspective.
they say that a man cannot be a man if he cannot be himself where ever he goes. if you wish to be free, live without regret. make sure you do it for the right reasons. discern. live life for the blessing it is.
keep writing. this was a nice read. TY, TC & God bless! ^_^
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Thank you for your comment.
Submitted by Adia Adeo on April 28, 2009 - 5:07pm.
Thank you for your comment. I was very bored when I wrote this one. I always knew what I've been wanting to do all along, and that's what's making me feel so bored nowadays. I don't want to make a mistake, just for the heck of making one. I just want to give in to the chance and take some risk, but I can't seem to get out of my shell. I fear that if I make a mistake, even one small mistake, it's going to be a big deal for everyone who knows how composed I am. I feel like a stranger in the image that people made for me. It's so unfair how I can't even make my own. If I show them who I really am, my boredom will be gone but they will be bored with all my flaws. Maybe they will leave me alone or something. I don't care. I don't want no spotlight. I just want people to let me be.
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