For a couple of days my room was infested by huge flies (twice the size than the usual).  The first day I woke to just seeing one of them flying by and landing on the screen of my window.  I ignored it at first coz' I thought it couldn't do harm.  I left my room to splash water on my face and make my coffee.  I got back and I saw more of them hanging on the screen of my window.  At this point I figure there were about 5 of them.  I started thinking "what the kcuf!?  Where’d these things come from?  I never encountered this before".  "There is no way I could ignore this now".  I got an insecticide spray and directly sprayed it to each one of them till they either flew away or fell to the ground.  It took about 5 minutes for me to be sure I got each one of them.  I was comfortable for the rest of the day till I slept late in the evening.  The next morning I woke up encountering more flies on the screen of my window.  I took it more seriously.  I watched them as they flew away from the screen and back as if they thought they could just fly through the screen and out of my room.   I guess it was unfortunate for the flies and me that they could not just get out of my room. There was nothing in here for them except my mug of coffee which I really wouldn't want them messing with.  As I was messing with my coffee I had a few things in mind. I wondered where they may have come from. "Do we have a corpse underneath the house?"  "Do they have a breeding ground somewhere in my room?"  "Do they just happen to accidentally come in my room from some small hole on my wall?"  "Do they come in because of a draft occurring when I open my door?"  "Do they just come out of my skin when I’m asleep?"  "Are they real?"  "Where do they come from?"  "Is it an omen?"  I find this really strange. I have never encountered this before. It reminds me of the time when I was a little boy and I went to my dad’s office coming from school one evening.  As I entered his room I saw him and he was trying to kill a flying bat with an umbrella.  It was strange.  I don't remember being scared as I was just watching my dad try many times to knock it down till he was successful.  There was also a time in my childhood that I think is a dream but I remember it to have really happened.  One night I walked upstairs to my parents’ room and I saw my dad trying to shoo away a bunch of cockroaches flying in circles in front of him while he was lying on the bed.  I remember just watching him while he did so.  I don't remember anything after that.  With all of these strange occurrences I wonder if they mean anything.  I can't say much about what my dad went through.  Those were his experiences and I don't know what significances they caused in his life but I could try to figure mine.
That second day, as I was watching the flies, with all the thoughts that went in my pretty-flipped, dog-bit, tattooed head I resorted to grabbing that insect killing can.  I am not at all afraid of flies and neither do I rebuke them but I knew I had to get rid of them.  I turned off all the lights in my room, my electric fan and closed the door.  The air was so still in my room and it was dark and quiet. None of the flies made a sound either even when they flew around my room looking for a way out.  True enough, they thought the only way out of my room was where it seemed to be the brightest (my screened window).  At this point I started thinking of how the predicament of the flies is similar to how I’ve been feeling recently.  The darkness, stillness and quietness around me made me feel that I needed to find some light, fresh air, and soundness in my mind and being.  I have somehow forgotten these things and got lost somewhere as if I were any of these flies looking for a way out of the dark place.  Now I have seen some light and figured out a direction that could lead me to my recovery of being.   -My being which flew-
As I once again focused on the literal flies, I saw all of them were gathered on the screen.  None of them were flying around my room anymore.  Just like the first day, I started spraying on each one of them as they hung on the window screen.  Some of them flew away and some fell to the ground.  In the silence of my room I could hear the whizzing of the flies on the ground struggling to get back up.  I would nearly feel sorry for them but I started thinking maybe I just really had to annihilate these flies just as if they were things from within me that blocked me from being who I truly am.  I imagined these flies to have come out of my skin that I needed to get rid of.  They were parts of me that I did not want.  They were the dirt caking on my skin preventing my true self from showing.  I no longer felt pity. There was a strange comfort in being able to see them struggle on the ground and finally die.
There were still others flying around trying to escape the wrath of the insecticide at this point.  I watched them as they flew around aimlessly with in the space of my room.  Sometimes I would try to spray at them while they were in flight.  Knowing that I never used to even move or twitch a muscle when a fly would land on me, I found my self dodging the flies that flew towards me. I rebuked them this time.  Or did I feel defensive of my self feeling the guilt of what I have done to them?  I was guilty and felt I had to defend my self.  One of them knocked me on the head and I ducked in a way I could never imagine a fly making me do.  It wasn't the fly though.  It was me.  I was definitely defensive and guilty in a way that I reacted to things I wrongly perceived as an attack to my being.  I lost the confidence of knowing that I am way bigger than these flies and there was no way they could harm me.  My guilt and my defense brought me to a deteriorated state of mind and of being.
As I got calmer, the flies which flew around hung on to the screen.  All the flies left are now gathered together once again for me to spray insecticide at. I sprayed at them without pity and guilt and they all fell on the ground to struggle and die.  I knew even with what I have done to them that made them lose their life; I believe that they served a great purpose in existence just as much as I.  They were no longer flies.  To me they became symbols which reminded me of how I view my part in existence and how I live it.
I swept the floor with a lot of thoughts in my head.  In memory of my experience, I realize that I am slowly once again recognizing things in a way that I used to.  I am once again able to see things in light and beauty of existence.
Today is the third day. I woke up without any flies in my room and I was glad.