-on drinking too much
Submitted by fineaffle on September 4, 2006 - 12:50am.
English | Fiction
For a moment we forget the world around us. Alcohol always manages to do that. We're in our own bubble. The boundaries of which, would be the fringes of our consciousness. Gradually shrinking, until we are stripped of everything. Every drink slowly shutting down our mind, part by part. In one golden moment, our souls are bared. The tangled mess that is life seems so vivid. We see with our souls. Then, inevitably, we pass out.
-cant seem to finish this one... its just a rough idea...
fineaffle
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fineaffle
Submitted by untamedlioness on November 15, 2006 - 6:41pm.
the idea is nice.. and you are leading into something.. you might have been distracted or somethin. can i share this one on my site? i would love too.. :) i will send you the link :D okies.. plz.... :)
slowbelly.. :P
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rough idea
Submitted by jeNadriano on November 18, 2006 - 7:01pm.
Ayos. Bahagyang sumasangayon ako sa mga komentong ibinigay. Magandang panimula't alam kong gaganda pa kung madadala nito ang paksang nais mo talagang talakayin. Katulad ng nabanggit, baka nawala ka lang sa focus habang sinusulat mo 'to.
.. o baka lango ka na sa alak. hehehe.
Steady.
PeaceLove&RockN'Roll.
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just my thoughts
last two lines are good. the ideas leading up to them can work, but needs a little tightening here and there. this might unfold to a good story. depends on what you plan to say.