salamat sa iyong puna. i was actually thinking kung anong point of view gagamitin ko while doing this story. until i decided to use the 2nd person na lang for some reason na gusto kong palabasin na figment lang sya ng imagination ko talaga. at story teller lang ako. if u noticed, 2nd person point of view gamit ko madalas.

salamat uli. 

:)

Maganda pa rin ang kuwento kahit saang point of view mo naisulat.

Sige, sulat ka pa.

Patikimin mo pa kami ng mga masasarap mong putahe.

The Best and the Worst In FW

VERY MUCH READY. IM ACTUALLY PRAYING FOR IT EVERY NIGHT. NO JOKE. IM NOT SCARED. WISH KO LANG SANA SUDDEN DEATH OR THE BEST UNG DI NA LANG MAGISING. KAYA LANG AYAW TALAGA PA I-GRANT NG KUNG SINO MANG NAKA-ASSIGN PARA MAG GRANT NG GANYANG MGA WISHES :) KAHIT NA BUNDATIN KO KO SARILI KO SA PAGLAMON KC SABI NILA WAG DAW MATULOG NG BUSOG. MINSAN KO NA RING BANGAGIN SARILI  KO SA PAGSINGHOT NG TALAMPUNAY PARA MA O.D, (INSPIRED BY RICO YAN) AYAW PA RING. DI KO NAMAN KAYA UNG OBVIOUS NA PINATAY KO SARILI KO. BAKA MAKULONG PA AKO. LOL. AYAW KO MAG IWAN NG GUILT SA MGA MAHAL KO SA BUHAY.

PERO DON'T GET ME WRONG HA. DI AKO GANON KA BITTER SA LIFE. IT JUST SO HAPPEN NA APPEALING DIN FOR ME NA I-LOOK FORWARD UNG GRAND EXIT KO. BAKA DIN KC MAS PANALO UNG MAGIGING NEXT LIFE KO. LIKE MAGING PORNSTAR AKO OR ANAK NG HARI IN MY NEXT LIFE.HAHA.

CAN I ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION? 

AT BAKIT "NGIIII...?

A) DAHIL NASURPRISE KA

B) GROSS OUT

C) OTHER ANSWER

LAST QUESTION? BAKIT PARANG PISSED OFF KA KAY ALEXANDER D?

:)  

Ay may last question ka pa pala about kay Alexander...  Pagtatama lang, di ako pissed off sa kanya...  mahabang kwento, but I'm not pissed off.   

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

ok...I dont want to make u elaborate kung ano yang mahabang kwento between u and alexander. medyo naintriga lang ako sa takbo ng usapan nyo sa comment section :) 

medyo na scared din ako while doing that online burol story last night kc when i hit www.mementomori.com  nagulat ako kc funeral home talaga sya. ang weird nga eh.

That's my answer. I thought you were simply going  out of your usual story-telling-theme with characters dying and all...  i thought you were just giving an opinion about this website you were browsing...  and then suddenly, napa ngiii ako kasi i was putting myself in your position, it was like i was the one browsing then suddenly i saw me name...  kaya ngiiii...  in fact, natakot nga akong buksan yung site... yun...

And answering my own question from my personal point of view...  No, I used to be ready dying...  but when I continued my passion to write, I felt like I still have a purpose in this life.  getting ready to die is different from wanting to die... suicidal...  no I'm not like that...  I can go anytime, but I'm not wanting it...  that's because I know that I still have alot of things to do on earth... Say it like this...  I'm kinda busy...  I don't have time to think about it...  That way di ako maiinip, at siyempre di ako ma de depress waiting for my grand exit.

Pero closet, although, I know that when a person dies, the living can not say anything bad about him... noticed that?  But it would always be nice to know that if you die and they see you on your coffin, you will see them shed some tears and hear them say, "this guy made an impact in my life..."  you're a legend... and you're immortal.  Ako kahit isang tao lang ang ganun sa akin, I will say that I have not wasted my time on earth...

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

Natatawa ako while reading my own comment... Sabi nung kaluluwa sa tabi ko....  HIPOKRITA!!!  Sinungaling, eh kasi last week lang naiisip kong magpa bangga...  yun lang... 

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

minsan kc parang kadramahan na lang din sa buhay ung inientertain mo ung thoughts about suicide but im not that stupid pa naman. at madami pa naman magandang pangyayari sa buhay ko para madepress ng ganyan. 

i have a confession, ung story ko about haunted house medyo totoo un. i was so depressed when i found out na ibebenta na ung ancestral home namin kaya i wanted to end my life. i was almost there, i was so dead drunk i aimed the gun on  my head. bigla ko naisip sister ko, who love our home as much as i do at pareho naming ipinaglaban, naisip ko, ayaw kong maging unfair sa kanya.

ngayon tanggap ko na mawawala na ung pinakamamahal kong bahay. my sister and i moved on and we bought our own place we can call home.

:)

kahiya. i dont usually bare my soul to public like this.

to strangers like you. 

I have to reciprocate your trust in telling me/us about a part of your personal life... 

I also have a confession to make...  but I'm sorry I can't tell it in public...  Di mo ako kasing tapang to confess things about my personal life...  If you have the chance...  wish we can talk privately. 

I am glad that you are sharing your used-to-be-hang-ups in life...  nakakahiya talaga yun, but it's not a sign of weakness... in fact it has made you stronger and it is really a sign of strength to admit our weaknesses.

What were you thinking when you were aiming the gun at your head?  what made you stop?  why your sister?  any regrets?  sorry for being so intrusive but i think it's interesting to know from a "writer's" point of view?  maybe another story from the closet should come up?

yanz_1130@yahoo.com

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

pls let me know if u recieve my email. cguro nga it would be alot safer pag mag-usap tayo ng walang audience

at gusto ko rin marinig ung confession mo. 

i'd like to think na strong nga ako at hindi hardened. sa dami kc ng frustrations ko sa life parang nakaka-jaded na. 

during that time where im closer to end my life, hindi pa rin cguro ako pinatapang ng alak. kc nagawa ko pa ring magdebate sa isip ko kung tama o mali gagawin ko. sister ko kc ung parang bestfriend ko sa family. naisip ko kung sya nga mas madaming hirap na ginawa for the family, hindi sya nag-give up. medyo complicated kc ung issues sa family ko.

looking back, parang ang gago ko pla non. no regrets. life became a lot more better for me after that.

:)

It  seems like you always want to look back.,  You are ready to die now, is it becuase there's nothing in the future that you are looking forward to? 

Last week when I was thinking na magpa bangga, bigla kasing pumasok sa utak ko na, ay may appointment pala ako sa sabado with a friend,(who was helping me, somehow, to deal with my probs) , sige next saturday na lang... hehehe.  so at least, i am looking forward to something.  madali lang naman kasi magpakamatay eh, diko pa na try pero feeling ko madali lang...

 we have our own crosses to burden, it's how we carry it that makes it feel light. 

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

siguro maaga ko lang naexplore at naexploit ang buhay kaya at my age now parang i have lived enough na. saka cguro mahilig ako mag look back kc tingin ko mas masaya ung past ko. pure. simple. innocent. 

ask ko nga kay lord, kunin nya na ako para di na ako malubog sa sinful life ko. sagot nya, 'di pwede, mahiya ka naman, umayos ka muna bago humarap sa akin.

eh hindi pa ko ready na magbago kaya cge tuloy muna ang buhay :)

hero pala ung friend mo. di nya alam na naka saved sya ng isang life :)  di madaling magpakamatay, kaya wag mo na attempt. punuin mo ng appointment ang buhay mo. bahala na si lord mag appoint kung kelan ka nya tapusin.

tama ka, ung iba nga mas mabigat pa ang krus na pasan pasan nila. 

Parang narinig ko na yung sinabi mo sa isang friend.. Sa dami ng problema, I was crying... begging... sabi niya sa akin "Umayos ka nga, nakakahiya ka"  I've to be reminded of that always...  if I look back, nakakahiya nga talaga...

Bahala na si Lord, wala naman akong balak magpakamatay (sa ngayon... hehehe)  I'm sure kapag kinuha niya ako, I am gonna be ready.  Naalala ko tuloy yung poem ko na... 20 years na lang ako sa mundo, lahat nang nakabasa nagalit sa akin, kung anu ano raw ang sinasabi ko, hmmm meaning, marami ang concerned hehehe...  eh hello, 20 years pa yun, madaming pwedeng mangyari in 20 years, pero at least, diba tinaningan ko na ang buhay ko.  pero minsan gusto kong mag short cut hehehe.

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

di ka na pagpapakamatay ha? saka di ba sabi mo me purpose ka pa sa life na to. si lord lang talaga nakakaalam kung naserve mo na ung purpose mo. don ka nya kukunin.

di ko alam kung nagkataon na pareho lang tayo mag-isip or kung normal din sa ibang tao na taningan buhay nila. sabi ko rin kc sa mga kaibigan ko pag usapang lasing na...sabi ko, ang buhay ko hanggang 45 yrs old lang.  ang masama don di na abot ng ten yrs 45 na ako. patay tayo dyan, mukang mapapasubo ata ako :)

you see? lagi ko talaga nakikitaan ng death lahat ng issues sa harapan ko. kahit ung comment lang nalagyan ko ng death twist. di kaya may anatomy of a killer ako?

siguro wala talagang makapagsabi kong na-serve mo na ung purpose mo sa life until its over. and i'm happy na ikaw at ung passion mo sa pagsusulat at sa ibang mga bagay pa, it gives you drive na mainspire pa sa buhay.

i can tell that you're a good person. cgurado ako hindi lang isa ang nabigyan mo ng impact sa buhay. just do good things to people you love kc pag namatay tayo, para pa rin tayong buhay dahil nandoon tayo sa puso nila. naks!

ang pangit naman kung dead na ung tao tapos people are saying bad things about him pa. pwera lang pag close sa akin tapos nagpakamatay, mumurahin ko sya. sabihin ko...you're such a loser! at ayaw kong mangyari sa akin un kaya ayaw ko na magpakamatay.haha. 

Napansin ko kasi, everytime i attend funerals, ang mga speeches ng mga tao, palaging patungkol sa mga magagandang nagawa nung patay.  I understand this, siyempre out of respect nga.  Ang nakakatawa kasing isipin eh nung buhay naman yung tao,  the people giving their speeches at his funeral at most probably the same people wishing him dead.  Ironic.

Lahat siguro tayo may anatomy of a killer...  kAsi in one way or another, we wished for some people to just die...

We are all going to die... maybe ikaw naniniwala ka na youll be somehow reincarnated, pero there's really no certainty in it.  Till now I still firmly believe that we only go either 2 places when we die... Heaven or Hell...  But somehow when I go crazy...  I also quetion it...  Paano kung hindi naman talaga, is there really life after death?  Paano kung wala? totoo kaya yung sinasabi nilang your soul will come out of your body and you can actually see it happen... daming questions...  never ending...

Na-realize ko when I asked that question... I asked if you are "ready" to die because it is a question I think that would not depend on how you feel at a certain moment.  The question if you "want" to die, that changes... like it would always depend on how you presently feel...  Actually I'm saying this coz I'm just defending my inconsistencies to the answer of my own question.  Siyempre parang, kapag masaya ka bakit gugustuhin mong mamatay diba?  Or pag marami kang problema, gustong gusto mo na talagang mamatay.  Samantalang if you are ready... masaya ka man, may problema ka man... at oras mo na talaga... go go go... 

and it was only for the past 2 weeks na nagseryoso ako sa pagsusulat, nagkaroon tuloy ako ng outlet sa mga hang-ups ko sa buhay.  kaya sabi ko postpone muna... hehehe

sabi mo... you can tell that i'm a good person...  ----> wag mong ipagkakalat yan, baka maniwala ang mga tao... tataas ang expectations nila...  hahaha

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

kahit na hanggang mamatay na lang ang tao andami pa rin cgurong uncertainties na hindi masagot. hayaan mo, pag nauna ako i will tell you kung totoong nirerecycle ung soul or kung nakikita talaga ng soul ung iniwan nyang mundo :)

just to confirm my answer don sa question mo, in all my honesty, im "ready" na talaga. happy or not. mas gusto ko lang i-rush pag masama loob ko. kaya nga minsan katakot maging sobrang masaya baka don ka nya kukunin. like ung sa "iris" story mo. minsan kc maypagka-twisted din sense of humor ni lord eh.

i suggest 'wag mong tigilan pagsusulat mo, postpone mo pa ng matagal 'yan. saka too late na, naniwala na mga taong mabait ka. ayos lang tumaas xpectations nila, masama kung tumaas kilay nila.hahaha

hayaan mo, pag nauna ako i will tell you kung totoong nirerecycle ung soul or kung nakikita talaga ng soul ung iniwan nyang mundo :) -   I am not going to look forward to it, pero kung mauna ka, promise mo yan hah?  I am a person who expects on promises to be made, coz I do the same when I give my promises.  Kaya at lang some point... napa "ngiii" pa rin ako.. but nahhh...

Nirerecycle? What a wacky term.  

 minsan kc maypagka-twisted din sense of humor ni lord eh.  - I believe God has a purpose in everything, at ang hirap niya paminsan ipa intindi yun...  Minsan kung ano talaga yung gustong gusto mo yun ang ang di binibigay and at some unexpected situations saka naman dumadating, minsan wrong timing talaga...  one thing good to know about you is you ackowledge na si lord ang may control ng lahat.

pangarap ko talagang mag publish ng book ko...  pagkatapos nun siguro pwede na ako kunin ni lord...  at least when that happened at pag nabasa na ng mga tao ang  libro ko sasabihin na nila ang mga gusto kong marinig sa burol ko...

btw, no email  

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

wag naman ganon, baka pwedeng me 2nd book ka muna bago ma-dead :) 

napaka-keen observer mo. ganon ata mga utak writer no? saka sensitive.

i wonder what's wrong with my email. anyway, here's my ym, jorenrey@yahoo.com

remember, may ico-confess ka pa sa akin db? 

cge, promise yan, isasama kita sa mga dadalawin ko kung sakali :)

salamat sa dalaw...  nabasa ko nga pala yung dalaw mo...  same reaction lagi sa dulo ng istorya...  you give me the creeps...  like the others...  im sure fan ka rin ng movie na yun... 

btw, check ur email

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

what movie are u talking about?

nabasa ko na email mo, check mo na lang ung reply. i dont know what to react right now. dina-digest ko pa ung mga nabasa ko. u knw what i mean.

but thanks as always for appreciating my works.

:) 

Ni Nicole Kidman...

Parang ganun ang mga kwento mo eh,,,  twisted ang mga ending...  Sa totoo lang, sobrang natakot ako sa movie na yun...  kasi hanggang sa pagtulog ko inisip ko pa rin...  sabi nila na ang magandang mga kwento raw ay yung pagkatapos mong basahin eh nasa isip mo pa rin... 

ganun lagi ang mga kwento mo, pagkatapos kong basahain eh parang titingin ako sa paligid ko at baka may biglang bumulaga sa akin... hahaha...  lam ko na kung bakit closet writer ang name mo... coz ur the boogeyman.... hehehe...

             http://wattuduyanie.blogspot.com/

             -an empty bucket

ganda nga movie na un. mas effective kc pag laging nasa ending ung twist. like ung the village din. or sixth sense.

'wag na ako si boogeyman kc parang me boogeyman na ata d2. boogerman na lang.hahaha.

pose mo na ung argument. nice un. nawindang ako na parang baka makapagsend ako ng maling signal sa makakabasa. but i know, ur smart enough to control ur own mind.

ngayon lang din uli ako napadalaw d2. akala ko nabasa mo na to b4. salamat sa pagtangkilik. sana'y maging inspiration ka lagi sa akin :)

ingat ka.