Riting is Easie: Learn the Rules Before You Break Them
In response to this.
I, for one, don’t believe that artists have the right to make mistakes. Oh no. A mistake is an error… an unconscious lapse of judgment. I believe that mistakes are inexcusable in any work of art. An artist is responsible for the entirety of his work and if said work is replete with errors it merely shows the quality of the artist. When a writer, for instance, publishes his work (whether in print or online) and expects people to read it, he immediately becomes a target. His mistakes become the ammunition with which his critics will assault him. Typo error? Okay, we can let that pass as long as you fix it. If you can’t fix it, or cannot recognize what to fix in the first place, then it’s not a typo error. It’s a mistake.
What an artist is entitled to, however, is breaking the rules. Breaking the rules is not an unconscious lapse of judgement. It’s not a mistake. It’s a conscious effort to fuck the established criteria of what’s right and what’s wrong. And before an artist can break the rules, he must know these rules intimately. Look at Picasso. Before he invented abstract painting, his paintings were of the more conventional kind (Picasso’s Blue Period, which, I must say, isn’t bad at all, no… it was actually fantastic, but not as fantastic as his abstracts). Picasso knew the rules enough to break them.
Grammar. Oh, yes, grammar. This is undoubtedly the Waterloo of most writers writing with a second language. There is greater pressure for Filipinos writing in English to know the rules because if we don’t, then we have no business writing in English since we have our own language. If a Filipino writer begs to be given quarter when it comes to grammar since English isn’t his mother tongue, quarter will be given, surely, but he must stop calling himself a writer. He’s just a guy who knows enough English to be able to communicate with it. A writer must excel in his language of choice.
Notice: I said “know the rules” not “follow the rules.” Again I must emphasize that an artist has the right to break the rules so long as he knows them. If he goes on and breaks the rules without knowing them, it will show. Believe you I it will show. Now that was breaking the rules. I should’ve said “believe me.” Instead, I chose “believe you I” because it’s faux Elizabethan English, which gave my statement a slightly humorous twist. “Humorous” being arguable.
Counter argument: I’m just an amateur so get off my case.
If you’re an amateur, then you have no business letting strangers read your work. Show your stuff to your family and friends. Or maybe keep them in a box. Whatever you do, don’t publish them on the internet.
Look, not all of us have impeccable grammar. If you find people criticizing yours but you still want to publish your stuff then get someone to proofread your work first. This is not embarrassing. This is why there are editors. Hell, I’ll even do it for you. Free of charge! All you gotta do is ask. “Gotta” instead of “have to” because I want to sound informal and chummy. And that last sentence was a fragment as my grammar check informs me with a glaring green zig-zag underline. And you don’t start sentences with “and.”
And in case some are wondering why I’m not making too much of an effort to sound like an internet asshole today (as is usually my wont), come closer. Closer. Listen:
Fuck off.
Squid Villanueva
» login to post comments | 1480 reads
SHOW CLASS
Submitted by kimchi on August 30, 2006 - 2:44pm.
And you don’t start sentences with “and.”
This guy is absurd.
Show class, inky buddy.
» login to post comments
Cunt
Submitted by squid villanueva on August 30, 2006 - 7:20pm.
You're obviously too much of a dumbass to appreciate the irony of the sentence. But then again, I shouldn't expect much from a pretentious cunt like you. Go back to your stupid fucking balloons, you fucking dinosaur. About the only thing you do around here is snark people up so that you can feel superior. Har-dee-har to you, loser.
» login to post comments
THE MOLLUSK NEVER SHOWED CLASS
Submitted by kimchi on August 30, 2006 - 10:18pm.
You're devoid of imagination.
The only thing you can write about is about writing.
So that was an irony? Too lame, too cheap. I've seen that irony a thousand of times. That's a cliche. So who are you calling dinosaur? Writing about writing is a cliche as well. Is that what they make of script writers? You aren't even ideal after all. You are inferior.
I didn't even regard myself as superior. They are telling me I am. You are telling me I am.
Now tell me what's not fresh with my balloons... and I'll tell you how old your write-ups are.
SO WHICH SCHOOL DID YOU GRADUATE FROM? YOU DON'T SHOW CLASS. I BET YOU'RE FROM A CHEAP SCHOOL. YOU TALK WORSE THAN GARBAGE. (Did you graduate anyway?)
Do you know who I am by the way? Look around you....
Watch your language....
» login to post comments
WHOA! CUNTSPEAK!
Submitted by squid villanueva on August 30, 2006 - 10:33pm.
Holy motherfucking Baby Jesus fistfucker on a sphincter bumpcar! The cunt speaks pseudo-intellectual bullshit! What? Are you gonna cry now, you little asswipe? Did the wittle loser bite off more that it can chew? Oh am I supposed to know who you are? NO ONE knows who you are because you are a motherfucking nobody, fucktard. Watch my fucking language. Watch my motherfucking digitus impudicus on your face, you asshat. Now, what are you going to do about my motherfuckingly colorful language? Fuckitty fuck fuck to you, cunthole.
» login to post comments
Hey, Look
Submitted by squid villanueva on August 30, 2006 - 11:26pm.
Hey, look. Kimchi just logged out. Whatsa matter fucktard? Lost your lame-ass snark? Going to create another profile as a sock puppet so that you'll appear to have (snort) friends? Meh. Just another gutless internet troll after all. Go take off your panties, shitkicker. You'll fuck yourself better that way.
» login to post comments
SOCK PUPPETS?
Submitted by kimchi on August 31, 2006 - 11:15am.
I'm not like you, married man.
You don't have the element of surprise.
Use your imagination.
Do you think I need to take off my panties? :)
» login to post comments
Kimchi is an Attention Whore
Submitted by elisabat on August 31, 2006 - 12:10pm.
I'm just wondering what the fuck this cunthole Kimchi is and who asked its fucking opinion. What's that? Nobody? Oh Jesus! We have an attention whore in here? LOOHOOZEEER! Looser's gonna cry now. Go back to your mama, you poor excuse for a writer. Oh, sorry. The word writer pertaining to you is an insult to writers all over the world because you're a fucking hack, Kimchi. Cluetrain's coming and the last stop, OMG, is you!
» login to post comments
REDUNDANT
Submitted by kimchi on August 31, 2006 - 10:58am.
So you're calling your language colorful? This is more entertaining...
http://p085.ezboard.com/fsurvivorsucksfrm1
Watch your language, I'm telling you... There are millions of you. You're a cliche. See how a hopeless THIRD-WORLD imitator like you got to be redundant. Can you think of any other word aside from "fuck" and "cunt?" You're deprived of vision. You're one of those writers who are bound to be forgotten. You're like these writers you're complaining about. You're very predictable.
So what was your school by the way? UP? You showed no class?
Note: the problem with your literary crap is you love breaking the rules, and yet you're living in the rules. You wrote this; I didn't make this up. Now, what you lack is trying to be above the rules.
» login to post comments
Kimchi is a Cuntfuck
Submitted by elisabat on August 31, 2006 - 11:59am.
Well, will you lookit that. The little cuntfuck is trying to appear all tough. Face it, turdbrain. You're out of your league. Nobody is interested in your fuckery. Drag your stupid balloons somewhere else. Your writing sucks eggs. Squid's got readers. You ain't got shit, you fucking attention whore.
» login to post comments
Re: Learning the rules
Submitted by Lynette Carpio on August 31, 2006 - 2:21am.
Squid: This was a good read. I concur. We read because we want to enjoy good writing, not so we can have our brains jarred by sloppy prose (or poetry for that matter) littered with grammatical mistakes and typos. Life is too short, and there are hundreds of great writers out there, waiting to be read.
*Hands squid an aspirin and a glass of water* :D
Photographic fiddling, Literary scribbling
http://maeve.eggdrop.ph
» login to post comments
Logged Out... Again?!
Submitted by elisabat on August 31, 2006 - 12:19pm.
Hey hey hey, Squid, everyone! Kimchi logged out yet again! Fucking dog ran away with its tail between its legs. You go and try again, okay, Kimchicuntfuck? We'll be waiting. About time someone stood up to this pile of steaming suckage who dares think itself a writer.
» login to post comments
very interesting
Submitted by jblazarte on August 31, 2006 - 11:49pm.
this is a very interesting exchange of profound opinion. you see words like cuntfuck, you can't help but stop, smile, and see tera patrick in your head. especially if trolls, er, people like elisabat use it to combine with the names of their loved ones, like kimchicuntfuck. or something.
maybe this is the point where somebody should suggest mr. noid changes this site's name a bit. why call it filipinowriter.com when we can settle with a more colorful, high-brow, classy one, like filipinowriterswhoactliketrollsandfuckwiththeirfuckingmouths. don't forget the ".com" to make it seem civilized.
oh well. maybe this is what filipino writers, or filipinos in general, will always come down to. this is so fucking low. even for pretenders like all of us. you give them a place to exercise their brains, they always end up using their dicks. they end up acting like fucktards and contaminate the entire system.
some nice feller like noid spends so many manhours keeping up this site, and this is what he gets. aint he and this country so lucky for enlightened people like all of us fuckers.
kudos to kimchi, elisabat, and squid. thanks for making this site a wonderful place to hang out and kill Third World time.
» login to post comments
Recap
Submitted by elisabat on September 1, 2006 - 4:31am.
Shall we review the events, then?
SQUID: Wagawagawaga!
US: Hyukhyukhyuk! (translated: nice one, dude; now let’s get on with our lives)
KIMCHI: (insert pseudo-intellectual bullshit here) fuck off your mind [sic] pondering about this, pathetic telenovela guy (translated: look at how snarky I am, ain’t I the coolest?)
SQUID: Piss off.
US: Boo, Kimchi!
KIMCHI: Why are you booing me? I’m the good guy here! Squid is the bad one! You should boo Squid! (translated: /em0)
US: Boo, Kimchi! Boo, attention whore!
KIMCHI: I’m not an attention whore, you are! I HATE YOU ALL!!!111ONEONEONEoneoneone (runs away crying)
…
Wow, willyoulookatdat? LOLLERSKATES!
» login to post comments
RE: very interesting
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 1, 2006 - 11:01am.
@jblazarte:
A legitimate comment, which deserves to be answered:
The short of it is that someone snarked at me and I snarked back. Primarily because I'm not Jesus.
You may argue that the vitriol in my posts is actually asking for snarkage and that may very well be true. Notice, however, that this particular post is pretty tame. While my writing may seem too abrasive to be inflicted upon the populace, the feedback I get from those who do find it entertaining shows me that I have a small audience. A niche, if you will. I'm sure you will agree that the internet, among other things, is a collection of such niches dedicated to entertainment... a lot of it too bizarre for mainstream forms of media.
Now, should noid tell me that he wants provocative writers but not my brand of provocation, I will abide by his will since this, after all, is his site. I will then gladly take my uncouth posts somewhere else. Until then, I will suffer no fuckery directed at me.
» login to post comments
A MISTAKE IS NOT AN ERROR
A mistake is not an error
An error is a mistake
Fuck off your mind pondering about this, pathetic telenovela guy