there was this guy i really like.  mukhang mabait, gentleman, parang punong-puno ng pag-asa at pangarap sa buhay.  pero what i really liked about him was he was always smiling.  kahit na kailangan niyang magseryoso dahil iyon ang required sa duty niya, ang maging serious face, lagi pa din siyang napapasmile sa mga little things na nangyayari sa paligid niya.  basta he seemed so happy with his life. 

     one day this same guy ay naging sobrang snob.  as in he tried so hard to ignore the world around him, hindi ngumingiti at parang galit.  he seemed so bored at parang nawala ang dating flame na dati ay nagraradiate sa kanya.  nawala ang dating masayahin at masigasig na guy na hinangaan ko. 

     when i saw him acting that way sobrang nadisappoint ako.  so ganun pala siya sumpungin ng topak niya.  kapag wala siya sa mood dedma ang buong mundo.  parang walang nag-eexist.

     i admit from that day on i lost all my interest in him.  i saw the other side of his cheerful and happy personality.  siguro mali akong i-judge agad siya dahil malay ko ba baka may problema lang siya.  but i can't erase that day sa memory ko.  i can't get past the thought na may mood swings din siya at ganun siya ka-snob kapag may issues siya sa buhay.

     the next days na nakikita ko siya parang wala na lang sa akin.  wala na ang dating excitement at adoration.  nawala na ang spark sabi nga nila.  napalitan ng disappointment at partly fear of not really knowing the real him.   nabulag lang siguro ako ng smiles at dedication niya sa ginagawa niya kaya akala ko he was different.  sadly, i was wrong about my impression on him.

     then i looked at his facebook account.  i read his status.  nalaman ko na ang dating sobrang hinahangaan ko ay may pinagdaraan palang malaking pressure.  he was confused about something, confused if he was going to let go of it or not.  i wish i could write here his exact issue but out of respect i wouldn't tell what he was really going through.  ang alam ko lang ay nahihirapan siyang magdesisyon at ang desisyong gagawin nya ay makakaapekto sa buhay nya forever.  sabihin na lang natin na there was no turning back once nakapagdecide na siya.

     nalulungkot ako dahil kailangan niyang pagdaanan ang ordeal na iyon.  i remember myself praying for him na sana wala na siyang maging doubts about what he wanted to do with his life.  but like everybody else nilagay siya sa isang sitwasyon na kailangang i test ang kanyang faith at determination.  sadly, mukhang he would give up everything that he worked so hard for and i think that he's mistaken.  if i were him i would hang on, i won't give up.  dahil ang mawawala sa kanya ay hindi na niya ulit makukuha.  it's a once in a lifetime offer at hindi na iyon pwedeng balikan para mag-umpisa ulit. 

     naaawa ako sa kanya dahil sa pinagdaraanan niya ngayon.  totoo palang wala sa mukha o mga kilos nakikita ang totoong pinagdadaanan ng isang tao.  kasi siya na akala mo ay magsa-succeed dahil sa kanyang dedication at determination noong una, siya pala yung mag-gigive-up in the end.  sayang lang kasi i think he would become an extraordinary person living an extraordinary life someday but now i think he would just be another ordinary guy reaching for ordinary dreams...

     i wonder what i would feel when i looked at him and saw the sadness and doubts in his eyes.  maiintindihan ko ba siya o would the feeling be gone just thesame?  one thing is for sure though, i will help him pray... and that's a promise.