Saint Nicholas' Last Hour
By Pmel Oki

Saint Nicholas, a 4th centuary bishop of Myra in Lycia Greece, was sent back down to earth by God in the year 1800 to keep the spirit of giving alive on Christmas Eve.Taking the form of the Germanic God, Odin; with a long beard, red suit, with a sleigh pulled by a pack of goats, Saint Nicholas toured around the Northern Hemisphere of mostly Europe and America, to send little gifts of love and harmony to pious children of God.

He was about to finish his final round when a messenger of God, Gabriel, came down to him on a shiny flying disk saying,

"Alas, there is but one child of God in a tropical forest, forced to live there by a heretic, who is unfortunately her father." Gabriel shook his golden hair, "Go quickly and deliver to her this gift for she is a holy child." Gabriel instructed Saint Nicholas and hands him the bible.

"With this book," he commanded, "she shall spread the word of truth to the barbaric people of Asia." Gabriel's voice echoed in the cold stratosphere as he sped off higher up the sky, spinning faster and faster until he bursts into trillions of stars.

An obedient devote, Saint Nicholas yelled out to his animals, "Ho, ho, ho, to Asia we shall go! Merry Christmas!" He pulled on his reigns and whipped his goats to ride off and complete his mission.

As Saint Nicholas passed the equator, he began to perspire and his goats began to pant. Little by little, he took off his clothes; first starting with his cloak, his shirt, his pants and boots until he was almost naked. The goats giggled at the sight. Saint Nicholas cleared his throat, "Ehem, are we almost there?" He asked raising a bushy eyebrow.

The lead goat pointed its nose at a tall tree with an odd shaped top. Saint Nicholas squinted his eyes and smiled, "Ah! A tree house! How lovely!" he praised and then frowned.

"Where's the chimney?"

There were none. Ther goats landed noiselessly on the top of the leafy tree and looked at Saint Nicholas.

"All right, I'm a coming down now." He rolled his dotted eyes as he huffed off the sleigh with just his underwear. "I guess I'll just have to climb my way into the house, huh?" he grumbled. The lead goat stared at Saint Nicholas, looking up and down at him to remind him of his attire.

"Bah," Nicholas half spat, "It's dark, who would see me?" and went off with the Bible tucked under his arm. As he swung from branch to branch, the little white girl asleep in her bed, woke up with a start. Her bewildered eyes scanned the room like a mouse searching for a murderous owl. She's a cowardly girl frightened of almost everything that she sees. Having lived most of her life with her father in a remote forest, frequently visited by those detestable barbarians who'd call her a pale witch, she hated to go outside of her room unless it's completely necessary.

The leaves rustled and shook outside of her window. She rose and picked up a paddle standing by her side table, which she'd always kept for safe measure. Slowly, she untide the knots that shut the window and pushed it open, her arms raised in preparation for self defense.

Holding the wooden weapon high in the air, she waited breathelessly until a silhouette of a large man hanged down in front of her, bouncing like a shadow of Jack-in-a-box only way-side-up. It cried, "Ho, ho, ho, ho," but never finished the sentence for the little girl screamed and hit it hard on the head:

And Saint Nicholas fell some 20 feet down to the forest floor, gorged by the pointed picket fence.

And God above groaned for he could not make the girl become the next Santa Clause and the girl can no longer become the holy child he had planned for her to be.

- The End -

Santa was a Bishop!!! He was a BISHOP!!!