Every time I feel like fluctuating (which in my own dictionary means being weak and thinking of getting back with my ex-boyfriend), I distract myself by thinking of all the bad things I don’t like about him and our relationship. Enumerating the traits I hate about him reminds me of all the reasons why I wouldn’t want to be in his arms again and it helps me get back in track. It’s quite effective actually. You guys should also try it if you want to get over someone.

Anyway, to give you an idea and for us to have a basis of comparison later on, here are some of the things that I recite to myself. One, it was a long distance relationship. I assume many of you would agree that there’s no point of getting back. Two, he is still in school and is actually still immature. Three, he is indecisive and he has serious financial and family problems. Fourth, and the most crucial of all, he knows that I don’t mind the first three that I just mentioned and yet he still doesn’t want me around in his high and low times. That’s a problem right? But don’t worry; we are not going to dwell on that.

A month before our break-up, a new guy came along. I wasn’t paying attention to him obviously because I was still trying to save my shaky relationship with my guy.

But this new guy really has persistence in his blood. I’m not sure why, but he is definitely going to pursue. So when my long distance relationship ended, I kept it from him. I don’t want to keep his hopes high and I’m not ready fro a new guy anyway. I was too crushed. But soon enough, word got around and he found out. I remember saying NO to him a hundred times but he is should I say unstoppable!

Let’s start enumerating for the new guy. Here we go.

Mr. New Guy, to be fair to him, is actually okay. He knows what he wants and he goes for it. One quality that I think every guy should possess. He is confident, stable, and he has a good sense of humor. Sounds good so far right?

As I’ve observed it, he would do just about anything and everything just to make me say yes. He shows up in the unlikely places; he does all the sweet stuff; and no matter how many times I try to shut him off, he just really won’t give up.

Now isn’t that what most women like? To be persistently chased and valued? To be with a guy who is firm with his decisions in life and still manages to crack jokes once in a while? There was even a point when I was already sure that he is the type who would ask him to marry him.

Isn’t he almost ideal? But how come I still can’t do it? I kept pondering about it and I ended up with three reasons. First, I was still too hurt to start with a new relationship again. Second, despite all the good things about Mr. New Guy, he apparently has attitude problems. Most of his colleagues hate his guts and couldn’t stand him. And lastly, and the most shallow of all, he is not as fine looking as my previous guy.

I know the last one kinda sound bad but that’s exactly what I’m delving on. Let’s say for example that Mr. New Guy doesn’t have an attitude problem. Let’s also pretend that he only started courting a year after the break-up. The only problem left to us then is the last one. This applies not only to women but to men as well. Why are we pressured to make sure that the next one is better than the one we left?

How can we disregard the okay guy (or girl) who possesses all the good qualities that the previous guy doesn’t possess just because he is not entirely better than him? How can we let go of an ideal person just because he is not physically appealing as our previous partner? Why are we so scared of what our previous partner would say about our new guy or girl?

Why do we give such a damn about it?

Admit it or not, this is really happening. Are most people shallow then? Or this is simply just human nature?