Striking Pigs And A Flying Pen

anakngfaraon's picture
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I can barely feel my jaw.  I'm still numb from the anesthesia and a bit sleepy from the Valium that was infused in my veins for my outpatient surgery.  On my way home now via a taxicab.  I think the driver's drunk because he's swerving in and out of lanes and almost hit an old woman.  Drunk at 12:30pm.  Ha! 

 

Thirty minutes later:

 

I'm home and feeling worse.  The anesthesia's wearing off and I'm starting to feel the intense pain.  Ahhh! I have to take my pain med now - Lortab 7.5-500mg - a DEA code 3 controlled substance. 

 

Some more minutes later:

 

I'm in bed, and the medication is starting to work.  I have a feeling this would be a nice nap in spite of the blood-soaked gauze in my mouth.  One deep breath, exhale, and I'm zzzzz.

 

Two hours later, the phone rings.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hi this is Peter from Peter Car Service.  Your car is ready for pick up"

 

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I brought my car in yesterday for service.  Hey, I feel so good - no more pain and almost blissful.  I feel like I've been cleansed, purged, and reignited.  My mouth...it's no longer bleeding.  The gauze has miraculously disintegrated as well.  I better head out now and get a cab.  There's nobody who can drive me to the shop.  I wish I could fly.  I wish I could just jump high and then fly.  What the fuck!?  I'm flying!  I actually am - 3 feet off the ground, 6 feet, 9 feet, 14 feet and higher.  Whoa!  I guess I no longer need the cab. 

 

Twelve minutes into flight:

 

Oh this is such a nice day to fly.  The birds were giving me a dirty a look - I gave them the dirty finger and blazed on.  I see the shop now, 25 feet down; I land.  What's all the commotion about?  There's a strike outside the shop.  The workers are not human!  Or are they?  They have human bodies but pig heads.  I shook my head and went inside the shop. 

 

"I'm here to pick up my car" 

 

"Yes, we've been expecting you"

 

The man hands me the paperwork to sign.

 

"Can I borrow a pen?"

 

"Certainly"

 

He proceeds to give me the pen, but the phone rings.  He let go of the pen and turned around to answer the phone.  The pen did not drop - it remained suspended in air.  I stretched out my arm to grab it - grab it - grab it.  Oh why can't I grab it?  It seems to rise up seven inches each time I try to grab it.  What am I doing?  I can fly!  I jumped and flew and chased the pen.  Oh, it's quick and it can maneuver tight corners and can make quick turns.  I begged, “Please I just need to use you for a few seconds.  I have to sign the papers so I can get my car” The pen stopped and dropped slowly; I followed and caught it.  After signing, the man turns around.  I hand him the paperwork. 

 

"Your car will be out in 42 seconds."

 

I thought, 42 seconds, how exacting. 

 

"Here's your car now"

 

I turned around and gasped in disbelief.

 

"My car - it-it's...."

 

I stopped talking.  I stopped thinking.  I started hearing, very faintly.

 

"She's waking up"

 

“Check her pulse”

 

“Where did this pen come from?”

********end******

anakngfaraon

Pmel's picture

Hey, not bad! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think the structure of the story, the layout kinda distracted me ... but it's good. :)

anakngfaraon's picture

  thanks

franzsorilla's picture

hmm...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                               napapaicip ako..

                                                                                       na aksidente xa noh?

<<FrAnZsOrIlLa>>

anakngfaraon's picture

  aksidente? 

 

aksidente?  pwede...

 

thanks for reading!

 

http://katya14.multiply.com/journal

RJ Santos's picture

Dreamscape! :D * *

Dreamscape! :D

* * *

http://rjsantos.authorshaunt.com

anakngfaraon's picture

  at least this time

 

at least this time hindi bangungot tulad ng nakaraang kwento ko tungkol kay  - you know - ayoko nang banggitin ang pangalan.  speak no evil!

he he he...

 

 

http://katya14.multiply.com/journal

RJ Santos's picture

Ate Kat, I knew it was too

Ate Kat, I knew it was too good to be true that the maestro stays away. :D



* * *

http://rjsantos.authorshaunt.com

Pmel's picture

The mention of the name, RJ ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or even the suggestion, sure did call the dead back ... tsk, tsk, tsk!

RJ Santos's picture

:D The dead couldn't stand

:D The dead couldn't stand the non-attention.

 

* * *

http://rjsantos.authorshaunt.com

Pmel's picture

Ha ha ha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I suppose. ^^;

good story. master writer in

good story. master writer in the making, ha? and with a fine grasp of powerful writing:

He proceeds to give me the pen, but the phone rings.

 

with the wonderful sentence above, I remember one of our english lessons: commas, commas, commas. please share with us how you are able to effectively use them. 

Pmel's picture

Why do I feel that you're being sarcastic?

You mean, it should have been written as, "He proceeds to give me the pen, but, the phone rings."?

 

 

 

 

 

Just wondering ... hmm ... 

Ang ganda nga ng sentence e.

Ang ganda nga ng sentence e. Faraon uses the number one rule of proper comma usage. Writers who know punctuation marks well also know how to play with words, and writers who could do such play have what it takes to become master writers.

But not all the time, because I have read writers who have mastered the proper use of punctuation marks, but their pieces say little or nothing at all.

Pmel's picture

Understood. :)

 

 

 

 

It happens, Pepe, dear! As you say, even old masters make mistakes, right? Though, I don't have any idea which kind of masters you speak of. ^^;

Perhaps, naming a few would help?

They are not master writers;

They are not master writers; they have just mastered the proper use of punctuation marks, but their pieces lack power. Many of them are in daily newspapers. I won't name anyone, for that would mean attracting enemies.

Pmel's picture

Ha ha ha!

 

 

 

Attracting enemies, say? You've already made quite a few, why, you have the knack for attracting these said enemies. ^^;

I suppose, giving your own opinions is risky, especially when you're overtly frank with them ... but, if you're really the kind of man you put yourself out to be, you wouldn't cower behind a fake name now, would you? It's up to you really...

I'm only into my 9th week

I'm only into my 9th week here in FW. I have no enemies so far, and I have no desire whatsoever of getting one. Please, you must be referring to somebody else. I AM NOT JON!

Pmel's picture

Okay, you're not Jon.

Okay, you're not Jon. :)

 

 

 

 

 

Still, with your post concerning JonsdMur's stories, wouldn't people be suspicious of you?

Uy, hindi ko nilalait ang

Uy, hindi ko nilalait ang mga gawa ni jonsdmur, ha? sumusobra ka na! akala mo, nang-aaway ako! hindi ko inaaway si jonsdmur!

Pmel's picture

I didn't say you're nanglalait ...

 

 

 

I'm just wondering what kind of a newbie would write so much about JonsdMur's stuff like that ... so far, you're the only one.  ^^;

Then again, you must have a lot of time in your hands to read and write them like that. Are you a critic by any chance?

I'm no critic. I've already

I'm no critic. I've already read jonsdmur's stories before, last month perhaps and these past few days, and so I was able to comment on them. Don't other people here do that? Please, read the posts. They also comment on other people's works.

Pmel's picture

Will do, thanks. :)

 

 

 

 

 

On my part,

I just can't read long stories, I take too long so I stick to short stories and poems. :)

jonsdmur's picture

ako din!

A Collection of Short Stories-Jonsdmur

Parang hindi ka nga si JON.. pero like Pmel may konting kutob ako... pero sa ginawa mong komento sa mga kwento ko... touch ako... hindi ko inaasahan.... sana nga totoo ka.... salamat sa pag-review... ikaw pa lang nakagawa niyon.... iba ka sa lahat....

jonsdmur

anakngfaraon's picture

oh my!

It seems I missed a lot within the last 24 to 36 hours that I haven't logged in.

 

 

http://katya14.multiply.com/journal

yolak69's picture

weird dream or plain creativity?

if  it's a dream, is it one you call astral projection? if not, well, magaling ka lang talaga magsulat.

 

Cheers!

 

ps/. i added you up in multiply. poreynger ka pala. lolz!

anakngfaraon's picture

hi yolak! salamat po! naisip

hi yolak!

salamat po! naisip ko lang ang kwentong ito  - yung tungkol sa kotse kasi totoong pinapa-service ko yung kotse ko tapos ang bad trip palaging wala akong ride pabalik ng car shop kaya ko siguro naisip yung paglipad.  the rest bigla na lang pumasok sa isip ko habang nagd-draft ng kwento.

sige po, na-add na kita sa multiply!

 

http://katya14.multiply.com/journal

Patrickman's picture

murakami is god

this is GOOD! wow... one of the best stories that i have ever read here so far on FW. very nicely written! keep it up! Ü

 

I'd love to turn you on...

 

http://patrickman.blogdrive.com

anakngfaraon's picture

  i'm so glad you enjoyed

 

i'm so glad you enjoyed my story.  i haven't read any murakami though.  maybe i should start reading his works.

 

thanks!

 

http://katya14.multiply.com/journal

Patrickman's picture

you should!

murakami is the master of surrealism, you will surely enjoy his works. 

 

I'd love to turn you on...

 

http://patrickman.blogdrive.com

noelablon's picture

maganda talaga....

Kung sineryoso mo yung fantasy malamang maging mala-Hayao Miyazaki ang dating ng story mo. I was actually in to it na akala ko ay fantasy na ang story. It is really good.

 

====
Heto pa ang mga kwentong maaaring may kwenta!

anakngfaraon's picture

hi noel

 

naku, hindi ko rin kilala si Miyazaki.  hayaan mo, aalamin ko. 

hindi ko akalain na magugustahan ang istorya kong ito.  eksperimento ko lang ito kaya yung ending medyo held back.  di ko pa kasi alam kung hanggang saan pwede dalhin ang istorya sa ganitong istilo o genre. 

 

salamat na marami!

 

http://katya14.multiply.com/journal

Patrickman's picture

spirited away

si miyazaki ba yung creator ng anime na spirited away? hehe... gusto kong mapanood yun someday...

I'd love to turn you on...

http://patrickman.blogdrive.com

noelablon's picture

opo! siya nga

fantasy usually ang tema niya na may halong reality or from fantasy to reality. Maganda rin yung Princess Mononoke at yung Castle in the Sky.

@a.fara - may naisip tuloy akong kwento mula sa iyong naisulat, sana mabuo ko. Isa ka sa mga pasasalamatan ko hehe.

 

====
Heto pa ang mga kwentong maaaring may kwenta!