TEETH: Prologue
There is a story that I cannot tell you simply because you’re not there to hear it. You've already moved on and left nothing, not even a corpse. But that’s not right. You left your teeth scattered like pearls upon the everlasting tomb of what once was the world. A world that now lies empty as a mummy’s husk.
There is a story that I cannot tell you but if I was to tell it and you were to listen I would begin the telling this way…
On the day the world passed away there were four people in a jeepney. I suppose you could say there were five people in that jeepney if you deign to count the driver. The driver doesn’t figure into this story though so let’s ignore him. The driver is considered a part of the entire machine and so does not qualify as a person for our purposes. Thus: On the day the world passed away there were four passengers in a jeepney.
The jeepney wasn’t anything you’d particularly remember. It’s a drab affair with the non-color of rain clouds or the battered GI sheets on shanty-house roofs underneath which filthy children starve.
On the day the world passed away there were four passengers in a jeepney tearing through Quezon Avenue. That they were all there at the same time may have something to do with providence. Or perhaps God’s sense of humor. Four is an unlucky number. Four is one plus three, one and three being thirteen. Thirteen is an instrument of misfortune. Four is the number of points on the Man-Tree. The Man-Tree is an instrument of pain. Four is the number of Samigina, Great Marquis of Hell who rules over thirty legions. Samigina is an instrument of darkness. Four is the number of rigid movements a soldier employs to bring his rifle from his side to his right shoulder. A soldier is an instrument of death. Do you see the way the Arcana falls? Providence.
The first passenger was the Empty Cup.
The second passenger was the Sated Whore.
The third passenger was the Aging Virgin.
The fourth passenger was the Sleeping Fool.
And so our story begins.
Squid Villanueva
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Thanks!
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 2, 2009 - 11:38am.
Thanks! I started this without an outline. You know, I've been so used to writing scripts the "standard" way, which is: 1. storyline 2. sequence treatment 3. first draft. Now for this novel, I'm doing it the Stephen King way, that is: 1. idea 2. write it down fast!!!! 3. revise. In reality all I have is an idea of what will happen next. Nothing concrete yet. So you'll know as soon as I knpw. TYhe danger is this could blow up in my face if my brain dries up. But hey, live dangerously. Thanks for being interested.
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whoa... must be a challenge for you then
Submitted by Yiennarda on September 2, 2009 - 2:00pm.
I'm very interested, and is getting more interested. In fact...before I wrote my comment here, my mind was already playing on the Empty Cup character (was your 3rd character in the first draft) and what a bizaare thing, you wrote about "it" first...
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Aba
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 2, 2009 - 10:06pm.
Aba, baka psychic ka, ate, hyuk hyuk hyuk. Well, my disclaimer is that it might not work.
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This will be a funny story.
Submitted by jonas_01 on September 2, 2009 - 7:49am.
This will be a funny story. The prologue gives us already a foretaste of the grotesque, and more of it to come. And the Squid is a maestro of words. I'll surely love to read the complete novel.
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Not Sure
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 2, 2009 - 11:40am.
Well, I'm not really sure if it will be funny or if my intention is to be funny. I'm not really all that confident about my comedic skillz. Then again, stay tuned. Thanks for reading.
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pusit..
Submitted by Luca on September 2, 2009 - 10:26am.
on the whole i'm very intrigued with what you started here.
i like your tone for the most part, it's very lyrical and rhythmic--except the fourth paragraph, which got corny(was that intentional?)
i'm holding my breath for the next installment
wag kang pipikit...
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Really?
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 2, 2009 - 11:44am.
Really? I've a mind to take out that paragraph myself. I just thought it would lighten up the tone but then again it does sound off, doesn't it? Well, then cut the bugger off and never look back. Will post chapter 1 tonight. Thanks for reading.
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hey
Submitted by Luca on September 4, 2009 - 1:23am.
i read and commented on the first chapter already, well, at the beginning of the first chapter.
m sorry if i keep bringing up tone. i really think that it's what sets you apart. I mean, i've seen stories before where a random assortment of people end up being linked by some twisted coincidence (6 degrees of separation) and they all end up dead.
i don't want to preempt you or anything. but you mentioned about the end of the world, so probably it's not just the characters who die. what if, the world dies and they're left to repopulate it or to deal with all the decay?
it can go everywhere. good stuff.
by the way, I like how you explain the images that you allude to in your descriptions, you see, my knowledge of lore and the occult are quite limited.
most of the time i should have spent learning all that was wasted on cosmetology and alcoholism. hehe just kidding.
wag kang pipikit...
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Revisions
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 2, 2009 - 11:51am.
Revised the first few sentences. Small revisions but big in the scheme of things. Notice the narrator doesn't include himself/herself/itself with those who passed away and left nothing but their teeth(oooh, you're trying to be mysterious eh?). Also revised the order of the characters mentioned. It has something to do with the order of the chapters. Also took out most of the fourth paragraph.
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Okay
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 2, 2009 - 10:07pm.
Okay, I've got to put this thing on hold for the rest of the week. Just got swamped with work. Sorry. Will have an update next week.
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Spontaneous Combustion
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 3, 2009 - 6:23pm.
Thanks. Spontaneous combustion? Yes and no. And may ilang stories ako dito, back during the first few months of the site. They're pretty crappy though:
http://www.filipinowriter.com/node/154
http://www.filipinowriter.com/node/220
http://www.filipinowriter.com/node/588
http://www.filipinowriter.com/salami-on-squeaky-leather-seats
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ayos...
Submitted by Adlesirc on September 4, 2009 - 3:13am.
il wait for the next chapter. =) intruiging kung suspense ba 'to, drama or what..
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My apologies for those
Submitted by squid villanueva on September 25, 2009 - 3:48am.
My apologies for those waiting for me to continue Teeth. Yes, both of you. Including the guy I paid. I grew tired of the story. Probably because it was crappy. Maybe I'll get back to it some time before the Rapture. Maybe it's an abortion. I dunno. Moving on.
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I'm reading
And will continue to.
Please go on...
would love to know more about the next unfortunate events...