i've been liking him for three years... and counting.

this has been more like an obsession than just simple crush.

i don't think that this is love. this is just an illusion. 

an illusion that causes me pain, and my heart has a tiny tiny bit of ache.

tolerable.. yet disappointing.

wondering how i can let myself feel this negativity when it has already been made clear to me that he cannot be mine.. not even in my dreams.

he is an Indian national who believes in the practice of fixed marriage. he already belongs to someone else.

besides, he doesn't even know me.. that i even exist!

STUPID ME! feeling this slight pain.. tollerating that foolish illusion that if he will meet me, he would turn his back against that practice. so STUPID of me..

if he just knows how much i wanted to be his chammak challo... 

how willing i am even to be his slave... wew... i'm going crazy...