Foreboding
I flaunted faded glories in the still air
Like the banderitas of last year’s fiesta
The leaves of the big acacia tree by the wayside
Also waited for a cue from passing breezes
There is no slamming of front doors
And window shutters on the second floor
Are slightly ajar as if the slats had eyes
Peering expectantly at a desolate street
But the wind hung like heavy drapes
Despite the whistling of an urchin
The dust remains settled on the ground
Only the shimmering heat is seen
Even mangy dogs did not patrol
The narrow lanes of the interior commune
Cats did not move from window perches
A girl stares blankly at the stillness of life
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Salamat sa pagbasa at
Submitted by ed_roa on September 3, 2009 - 10:41am.
Salamat sa pagbasa at pagpuna.
How about "Foreboding" as title?
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Naku, nahihiya naman akong
Submitted by Allanjohn Andres on September 3, 2009 - 11:10pm.
Naku, nahihiya naman akong manghimasok pa sa akda niyo. Minor lang naman siguro 'yong concern ko, tipong di niyo na dapat pag-ukulan ng masyadong pansin ;-)
But yes, mukhang mas consistent sa nilalamang tension ng tula ang pamagat na "Foreboding".
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There, I have retitled it
Submitted by ed_roa on September 7, 2009 - 10:41am.
There, I have retitled it "Foreboding".
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Sir, shameless as this may
Submitted by Allanjohn Andres on September 7, 2009 - 10:59am.
Sir, shameless as this may seem on my part, but I am also inviting you to browse thru some of my poems herein this site, or if your time would further permit, at http://allanandres.blogspot.com/ where I post most of my works.
I do originals, as well as translation and adaptation into Filipino of different works by different poets as Pablo Neruda, Federico Garcia-Lorca, Edna St. Vincent Millay, W.H. Auden, e.e. cummings, and many others.
I hope you'll consider. Thank you very much.
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Maganda at sariwa ang
Maganda at sariwa ang pagrerenda ng imagery at metaphors -- /"... flaunted faded glories in the still air / Like the banderitas of last year’s fiesta"/ ; o di kaya, "... the wind hung like heavy drapes/, etc.
Parang nakatunganga ako sa fictional town ng "Macondo" ni Gabriel Garcia Marquez, isang tag-init at oras ng siesta.
Minor note lang po, Sir, pero sadyang may pagka-trite para sa akin ang pamagat. Mukha namang higit pa rito ang kayang saklawin ng inyong pagkamalikhain.
Just the same, mabuhay po kayo.