I cannot say no to Charisse. No one can say no to Charisse (dammit!). She is such a sweet woman and she's got this real high IQ and great sense of humor, and she is my boss. So when she asked me to look for writers to add in our team, I need to find the mood right away to come up with something like this so that a poor writer like you can read it.

But before you consider to apply, a fellow writer suggested that you should read this first to get the idea of who we are (we are the best) and what we do (usually not nice). Other fellow asked me to write a sort of caveat so that when something happens to you while you work with us, we are not totally to blame for it and we can move on right away after some moment of grief for your misfortune. Still another writer added that, since you can expect only the best of everything from us, we expect the same thing from you. So don't wait amigo and don't mind too much of everything, if you think you can write, then write with us.

So, here are the qualifications:

⧫ A degree/diploma in Mass Communications, Marketing, Journalism or English is simply crap. We have no need for it. We want writers.
⧫ No years of professional writing experience is necessary as long as you'd been taught to write by your mother when you were still in your stroller, then that would be enough.
⧫ You may or you may not bring with you your creative writing diploma as one writer here has volunteered to collect yours if you bring one to add for our supply of toilet paper. But bring with you some portfolio, if you have one, as that would be a big plus and we can make some good laugh out of them too. Savvy!?
⧫ Drop out suckers who've been writing about their fucked-up lives (to somehow lessen their fucktardity) are encouraged to apply and get the chance to share a box of munchkins and a pint of rum with me while toying Loui's nipples.
⧫ If you can write 100% original materials, you have no business with us you pervert would-be Einstein you

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