The Hungry Robbers
Submitted by Samson on July 23, 2008 - 5:57pm.
English | Fiction | Joke
One afternoon, some hungry robbers, three in number, who had waylaid on a footpath to snatch items from people passing along the way, saw a man coming with a black nylon bag in his hand. The robbers had been there since morning but there seemed to be no one to take the path that day, so that they almost began to regret to have come out for the raid. But when they saw the man, they were very excited.
‘Bet it! The bag is full of money,’ said one of them.
‘Imagine, we’re so fortunate,’ another said.
The third man, who did not seem to see the matter the way others saw it, said in a desperate tone,
‘I think what is important now is to discuss how we’re going to share the elephant meat.’ He was stylistically referring to the bag in the hand of the on-coming man as an elephant, thinking that it should contain different notes.
‘Then if that is the case, I’ll take the fairest part of the game, say half of it, being the oldest,’ said the first robber.
The second man, who was rather too short for his age, gave a little hysterical laughter upon what the oldest robber said.
‘As for me, I’ll take just the fairer part of the money for the trouble of being older, say three quarter of whatever is left,’ he said in a final tone.
The third man, who happened to be the tallest among them all, said he would rather not live than watch their only luck that day be shared quite unjustly. As tall and hefty as he was, he said in a very firm voice,
‘Then as a matter of fact, for being the biggest and the strongest, I’ll take the most suitable part of the fortune for today. Three quarter of whatever is caught belongs to me by the standard of my stature.’
As the three men continued to argue about who was to take the fairest part of their loot, the man came near them. Quickly they gave up their argument and attacked him, seizing the bag but the man escaping. As happily as the moon in a free cloud day, the three robbers rushed into their hiding, rejoicing over their booty.
Later in the evening, when the three robbers came together to share what they had stolen, they opened the bag only to find a pack of placenta which the man had been given to bury at the hospital where his wife was put to bed.
Adewuyi Adeniyi
Nigerian, born in 1979 and hails from Ede in Osun State. Graduate of English Language (B.A. Edu). Loves writing and reading. Has written a volume of poems titled Whips and Lashes. Above story from a collection of short amusing tales titled The World Is Too Serious with Us. Presently has a collection of short stories titled The Foliage.
Pardon me, for not commenting!
Submitted by Pmel on July 24, 2008 - 3:09am.
I do not have the guts to comment since I too, wondered what an African writer is doing loading his works in FilipinoWriter.Com.
So here's what I have to say:
Dear Adewuyi Adeniyi (or Sir Samson),
Your story about the robbers is influenced by the African tales of Anansi the Spider. It surprised me but at the same time, it's quite refreshing. Thank you for sharing. I look forward for more of your stories!
-Pmel
Well, ...
Submitted by Samson on July 25, 2008 - 1:16am.
Well, I so much appreciate your comments on my story The Hungry Robbers. But really, I have never read any of these African tales of Anansi, if I may really deny your comment. My story is purely an imaginative work attempted to lighten people's moods in a world of riddled circumstances. I only remember to have once read The Children of Ananse, whose content, I'm sure, has nothing to do with my story.
Once again, thank you for reading my contribution.
Sir Samson
Submitted by Pmel on July 25, 2008 - 4:28pm.
You have the freedom to deny my comment. However, do consider that cultural beliefs (weaved into myths and folktales) are integral parts of all society. They are also part of our conscience.
Though we do not realize it, we speak of truths which reflects the teachings of our elders rooted from oral traditions. You say that the "The Hungry Robbers" are jokes-- so are most of the stories we find in Anansi. You can't run away from that. But you certainly have the choice to deny it.
I really do enjoy your stories. And I will continue to read them and help you in the way that I can-- limited, though they may be.
Nice, ...
Submitted by Samson on July 25, 2008 - 1:28am.
Really, it is nice to have such comments as yours. They are encouraging, motivating and in fact capable of spurring a growing writer into more productive contributions.
Thank you for creating time to read my work. Please do encourage more of your friends to read my stories.
Translation
Submitted by Samson on July 27, 2008 - 4:27am.
Urgent, please!
I have the comment below on some of my stories, but do not understand it because it is written in Filipino. Since I do not know how serious its content is, I need someone to interpret it for me. It is as follows:
'Tumatae ako noong una kong marinig ang tugtog na “wag kang maingay may naglalaba” ng Radio active Sago project—ang kulit ng kantang ito, sabi ko pano ba naman nasa kasarapan ako ng pag iri ng sa bandang huli ng kantang ito may paulit-ulit na lyrics na nasa 5 minuto ata ang haba akala ko tuloy nasira and plaka…teka CD ito a, sira kaya ang player? Tama ba ako ng dinig? Bakit paulit ulit yung huling lyrics nito? Baka naman sobrang iri ko umabot sa tenga ko yung hangin na dapat sana sa pwet ko lalabas kaya kakaiba na pandinig ko sa likod ng pintuan ng banyo?'
I will be very pleased if you can help me translate it and send its content back to me through this medium. You can as well send it through my email address(adewuyi07@yahoo.com).
I look forward to receiving from you soonest.
Thank you.
Well... you did ask. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Submitted by Pmel on July 27, 2008 - 9:35am.
'Tumatae ako noong una kong marinig ang tugtog na “wag kang maingay may naglalaba” ng Radio active Sago project—ang kulit ng kantang ito, sabi ko pano ba naman nasa kasarapan ako ng pag iri ng sa bandang huli ng kantang ito may paulit-ulit na lyrics na nasa 5 minuto ata ang haba akala ko tuloy nasira and plaka…teka CD ito a, sira kaya ang player? Tama ba ako ng dinig? Bakit paulit ulit yung huling lyrics nito? Baka naman sobrang iri ko umabot sa tenga ko yung hangin na dapat sana sa pwet ko lalabas kaya kakaiba na pandinig ko sa likod ng pintuan ng banyo?'
Translation:
"I was defecating when I heard the lyrics, 'don't be noisy, someone's washing (the clothes).' by Radio Active Sago Project. It's an irritating song. Who wouldn't be irritated when it's so long, and the chorus repeats over and over for 5 minutes? It's so long I thought the radio is broken. Wait, it's a CD right? Maybe the player is broken? Am I hearing it right? Why is the last lyrics repeating over and over? Maybe it's because I'm constipating so bad, that the air that's supposed to come out from my ass, went through my ears, that's why I keep hearing it wrong."
------------------
Whoever gave you that comment, is down right rude. On behalf of that jackass, I'm very, very sorry. Please forgive him.
-Pmel
Thank you
Submitted by Samson on July 28, 2008 - 3:36am.
I'm really indebted to you. I've read the translation. I'm just too grateful to you for sending it to time.
I'm not discouraged as long as people like you ( as I knew before choosing as the one to help me about the translation ) are still there to give some encouragement.
If I ever had the privilege of meeting you, I would not hesitate to express how relieved I felt after reading the translation.
Once more, thank you very much.
You are welcome.
Submitted by Pmel on July 28, 2008 - 5:13am.
Your words are enough expressions of your gratitude. Again, you are welcome.
-Pmel
who sent you that comment?
Submitted by rom26factolerin on September 2, 2008 - 7:11am.
I don't know who the hell sent this comment to this author but definitely this doesn't belong here. I am the one responsible for writing that shitty piece but in no way responsible for having it sent as a comment for The Hungry Robbers. i wrote it sometime october last year, just a blog entry for this site. maybe someone is playing a bad joke and sent it to you as a comment.
to Pmel, maybe i'm a jackass after all...
I don't know Rom!!!!! Mmmkay????
Submitted by Pmel on September 2, 2008 - 7:50am.
Whoever sent a piece of your paragraph to him as a comment is a jackasss. Whoever made this impractical joke is the jackass. I don't spend all my time reading all of other people's post to know whose shit is what. Mmmkay?
Only that this is unpleasant. Someone is messing us around. I know who it is... I believe but I will not say it because that person is, as much as I'd hate to admit it, is not a bad person at all. Just... annoyed by a lot of us. People who are "disillusioned" with the hopes of becoming a writer.
I apologized for the sudden outburst.
Submitted by Pmel on July 24, 2008 - 4:31am.
The guilt for having left my analysis unravelled, keeps me from sleeping so I will explain. The reason why I said that the story of the Three Robbers is influenced by the tale of Anansi the Spider because of two factors:
1.The three robbers here represent the Spider Anansi, who always tries to steal food or money from other people, only to get disappointed in the end.
2. The placenta reminded me of the "tar baby" in one of the common stories from Anansi, the King of all Stories.
I liked how you, Sir Samson, was able to take the old tales and applied them to the real world. It is very convincing. Again, thank you for sharing your stories.
Sincerely, Pmel
we're not commenting maybe
Submitted by pauline hernandez on July 24, 2008 - 10:36am.
we're not commenting maybe because we're hesitant to make ourselves the next target of some people's irrational outbursts of wrath? This piece is obviously well written and the writer is not only a good one but an excellent writer (based on my opinion as a reader not an expert)... Another reason probably is that, themes focusing on morality is always a tricky issue because there's no absolute interpretations and not all of us here are seasoned and veteran writers and philosophers. Most of us are silent observers and learners (like myself). I don't dare claim to be a writer, I used to dream of becoming a writer when I was younger but I got sidetracked by life's little realities now I only write as a form of therapy for the many things I don't care to discuss in here... and with the attitude of some people in this site, commenting is tantamount to slathering yourself with a jar-full of honey and taking a nap at the foot of an anthill, you'll be eaten alive!
I'm neither Intimidated nor scared to speak up or ask questions and Comment, but not everyday is your best day and sometimes it's just too tiring to argue when you don't have so much energy left.
To Mr. Samson, thanks for posting a good read, and hope to see more of your work in the future.
Hi Pauline, you're too
Submitted by jonas_01 on July 24, 2008 - 10:58am.
[Hi Pauline, you're too pathetic though you write good yourself. I like your style of writing, putting it lightly. And please, don't use italics, it fucking hurts my eyes.]
What's wrong with this story of this man Samson is that it's too good. It's almost perfect actually. The plot. The twist. Its simplicity.The characters are awesome too. And it is also short and written vigorously.
And WTF, the problem is I simply don't have that much patience for near perfection.
pathetic? yeah I can take
Submitted by pauline hernandez on July 24, 2008 - 11:45am.
pathetic? yeah I can take that... and thanks (on what you said about my writing)
I... must... SAY IT!!! Dx
Submitted by Pmel on July 24, 2008 - 1:04pm.
You know what Jonas? Sometimes I can't tell if you're mocking people or just plainly being a 'tard.
No!!! Correction!--- Acting like a 'tard. Good gracious!
So you mocking us 'tard
Submitted by jonas_01 on July 24, 2008 - 1:41pm.
So you hate us 'tard people now!? Ummm, well, I hate you.
For cripes sake, DO NOT
Submitted by jonas_01 on July 24, 2008 - 6:47pm.
For cripes sake, DO NOT PROVOKED ME LADY! 'cause the last woman [just like the others before] who did that to me ended up falling in love with me. And now I simply cannot lose the demon out from my life as said here. She just tagged along and won't let go. It's simply just fuck. I mean Jesus.
Whoa! Take it easy, dude.
Submitted by Pmel on July 24, 2008 - 6:48pm.
You don't honestly take my word for it do you?
I mean, it's the internet for goodness sake. Calm down.
Really, ...
Submitted by Samson on July 25, 2008 - 4:20pm.
Really, I'm too pleased to read your comments on the story The Hungry Robbers.
The story, you'll agree with me, was not originally written based on a moral issue, although all along, we may not do without dwelling on the moral lessons that can be derived from a story. It was written mainly to entertain and to excite people.
Once again, thank you for reading my stories.
No Problem! ^^
Submitted by Pmel on July 25, 2008 - 4:27pm.
I'm sorry I keep miss-typing the title, "The Hungry Robbers."
So, Why Isn't Anyone Commenting on These Stories?
1. Why isn't anyone commenting on these stories? These are awesome.
2. I'm going to assume that you, Samson, and Adewuyi Adeniyi are the same person. If not, I call the wrath of the Great Old Ones upon you for not saying so. May Cthulhu wear your entrails around his neck as he dances the Macarena on your wretched soul.
3. I am not going to ask what a Nigerian author is doing publishing his stories in FilipinoWriter.com. I'm just too glad for these refreshing tales. This internet community is badly in need of fresh perspective when it comes to defining what constitutes good writing.
4. I like the tone of your stories. The tales speak with an almost childlike earnestness and rightly so because these are basically morality stories that explore the barest nature of retribution. The language is light, as if the author has a knowing smile while telling it. The lightness of the narration contrasts heavily with the horrifying implications underneath.
5. While the stories taste, smell, and sound African, a Filipino can recognize enough of himself in these stories.
6. Again: why isn't anyone commenting on these stories? I see dozens of comments on other stories that, quite frankly, are of the same caliber-- or lack thereof-- as those paperback dreadfuls that Inday likes to read between chores.
(I'm not demeaning the people who write these books. They're bad but they also put food on a poor writer's table. We all need to sell out to make a buck in this enterprise. I'm just horrified that some writers think that publishing a novella like that is a badge of honor. Gawd, my friends bring up the penny dreadfuls I've published to embarass me in parties.)
7. Dude, if you ever decide to sell your books in the Philippines you already have a reader in this irascable shmuck.