The Voodoo Doll
Dasvidania
Pieces of my arms, my legs, and my head, segregated from my body -- he's dead, but his soul is still a part of me; his hair stuffed, hidden, within me ...
I rise, I crawl, and slow in pace, I have made my mind and now I haste to take this chance, to last just once, I go ...
Inside her old box of coffee and tea; needles and threads, clippers and pins, neatly arranged in this little kit, they glow below the floors of her bed;
I sew myself together again, humming the song that she once sung to him; darkening thoughts that once clouded him, they grow inside my little head, I go ...
And I will go, I'll crawl, I'll crawl
And she will know, it all, it all
All of the pain he strained in love for her;
there's much to gain, I'll murder her
That I may burn away and thus, be gone ...
Dasvidania, my love.
"The idea"
Yes, it is my own. Salamat sa comment.
<(^v^)>
No problem.
By the way, do you go to poetry readings? You should. I believe poets are the most vocally-blessed writers. Some are even singers.
I think you could enter contests like the Manigning Miclat or Palanca and hope for the best!!!!!



Very Nice ^-^
I think this is your idea. Correct me if I'm wrong...
The man was a voodoo doll and the "woman" referred in the poem was the witch he wanted to murder because she is "using" him all the time. Kill her, and you too are gone, thus the suffering as a pricked voodoo doll will be no more.
Just one comment on how the words are fixed. I think the "I rise, I crawl" type of sentences should be written in one line, instead of separating them. It makes the poem "too long for its intended meaning". A poem that looked shorter is more effective in this kind of subject.
But I believe, this format you have here, is effective for poetry reading. This is how it should be read ^-^ Good job.