VIP Room
Mata ko’y iginagala,
sa dilim sinasanay
Dilim na nanunuya, may saliw
Ng tugtuging mahalay.
Sa entablado naroon ka
May ngiti at pilantik ang mga mata
Sa saliw ng musika,
Sa kalansing ng barya
Sa malamig na serbesa.
Mabighaning alindog,
Sa entablado umiindayog
Nakabibinging halakhak, at pagyurak
Talipandas na mga halik
Sa pinag-aagawang pekpek
Naglalaway na mga buhong, tila gutom
Di kumakain mula pa kahapon
Mapulang lipstick sa labi
Babakat, maiiwan sa titi.
Ayoko nang makita ka pa
Pintuan ko’y tuluyang isasara
Lalabas na ako, sa makamundong mundo mo
Bago lumabas ang katas
Para sa salaping itinumbas
Di ko malulunok ang bawat sandali
paglunok mong nakakangiwi
may sasakit pa ba sa makita ka
nillalapastangan kong asawa?
Starblaze
another pretentious poem ahahahaha!
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yeah right this one is
Submitted by Starblaze on November 28, 2011 - 8:57am.
yeah right this one is actually a prosaic, from teh start till the end of each line tells how the cat was killed which readers have no interests at all. Anyway thanks so much for your comments i need it so that i cud make my future works meet not only your standard but also of those other critical readers.
As to ur question why it was indented, well it is my style and i want to go out of the box.
Starblaze, Bh.D. (Doctor of Broken Hearts) and Ph.D. in Female Anatomy
Dakilang mangingibig, at maninisid, malikot ang isip (at kamay)
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habol lang na tanong bakit
Submitted by diwata on November 26, 2011 - 12:27am.
habol lang na tanong
bakit nga pala indented ang mga lines?
what specific purpose do they serve ?
damn, clue naman diyan...
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Visual poetry*
Submitted by dyeppri on December 9, 2011 - 6:51am.
Maganda naman ang pagkakahulma ng tula na siyang nagpapatingkad na rin sa puwestong ginagalawan ng bida sa tula- ang entablado.
Salamat.
https://dyeppri.wordpress.com/
"libog lang ang dahilan ng lahat kung bakit andidito ako..."
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I'm afraid this is rather
I'm afraid this is rather prosaic. Unless you'd insist that this stands for something else, say eating an ice cream or devouring a bag of pacencia cookies.
As for my nanggagalaiting comments: first, there's this obvious distance of the speaker from his material. His observation of a VIP room scene borders on the cliche and commonplace. What he sees and what he tells us is no different from what all of us have already known from hours after hours of watching local B-flicks reruns. Or at the very least, the poet could have veered away from the typical "kalansing ng barya, "malamig na serbesa", "saliw ng musika", "mabighaning alindog", and so on, mode of description. As to why he chose not to, frankly I'm not very much surprised.
Another, the content of the last stanza lacks in originality, and is therefore lame and predictable. Pretentious? Reading from the poet's other works, one won't think so.